But when certain men arrived, Peter drew back and began to separate himself from the Gentiles (Galatians 2:12).

Years ago, when one particular woman in my bridge club befriended me above others, I felt special about moving with the “in crowd.” But the closer this woman and I got, and the more time we spent together, I didn’t like who I became. Her constant criticism of others affected my behavior. I became more like her, all because I found elevated status in being her friend. The validation I sought? Costly. What other friendships did I miss out on because I liked breathing her (what I thought was) rarified air and separated myself from others? How much did I displease my Savior with my attitude of exclusivity and superiority?

There it is…the People-Pleasing Lie: 

• My value lies in who likes me.
• My reputation is at risk if the wrong people like me.

I fell for the lie then, but certainly not for the first time; maybe you have, too. It’s what propels middle school cliques and buddy-ing up with the “right” people who can further your career. 2,000 years ago, Peter the apostle fell for it. Even though he’d been in fellowship with Gentiles, when “certain men of the circumcision group came,” Peter “began to separate himself from the Gentiles because he was afraid of [them]” (Gal. 2:12). Paul called him a hypocrite: “you’re not acting in line with the truth of the gospel” (v.14). Moreover, his separation caused other new Christians to be “led astray” (v.13). Like mine, Peter’s was costly behavior. 

And he knew better. Years before, Peter ignored that People-Pleasing lie. When he felt the lash of critical tongues from the in group of “circumcised believers” because he associated and, gasp, even ate with “uncircumcised men” (Acts 11:2-3), Peter rebuked them, revealing the heart of the Gospel: “God has granted even the Gentiles repentance unto life; who was I to think I could oppose God?” (vs.17-18).

While knowing the right people can open career doors, and while wanting others to like us is not inherently hypocritical, we must assess why others’ approval is so important to us. Seeking the affirmation of others keeps us at their mercy; it gives them control. We can't develop our own inner strength if we’re constantly looking to others to prop us up (in our own eyes or in the eyes of others). And, honestly, here’s the bottom line: 

Whose approval should we be seeking? 

Lord, my inner strength can’t be based on other people; pleasing them in hopes they’ll like me is exhausting. That You love me is all the validation I need; help me to truly believe that. In Your strength and confidence, help me seek others, in and outside of my social sphere, to serve - not use - them.