Leave your simple ways and you will live: walk in the way of insight (Proverbs 9:6).

Years ago, I set up a meeting with my stepdaughter several months after her wedding. Weddings are wonderful but also terribly stressful even in the best of situations. Blended families are challenging to navigate, and sometimes big family events, like a wedding, can topple an already delicate balance. This happened in our family. In addition, her mother and stepfather separated a few weeks prior to when all the festivities took place. I took over some of the duties her mother would normally have been happy to provide. On the surface, all seemed to go well but there was an undercurrent of tension, especially in her interactions with me.

Bottom line: my stepdaughter and I were not getting along.

I could see that this was not going to be a “simple” fix. All my efforts to reconnect failed, miserably. It was folly to think that I knew what to do, what to say. I did not have all the information, all the knowledge, to understand how to change the situation. I was, in effect, lacking insight. 

So, I arranged to meet my stepdaughter in a quiet local restaurant. To say I was nervous is an understatement. I don’t like conflict at all, and my stepdaughter is a force of nature (she could be President!). Sometimes, especially back then, I can go blank and get quiet during any hard conversation. This was going to be a hard conversation and I was likely to lose my voice in the middle of it. 

I prayed hard as I was driving to the restaurant. I asked for wisdom and for God to flow through my words, to speak when I couldn’t. When I walked into the restaurant, she was already there, her mouth set in a grim line. I ordered chamomile tea in the weak hope that it would help to keep me calm and focused. “Ok God,” I silently prayed and took a deep breath.

Then something miraculous happened. I felt God’s presence as a kind of warmth surrounding me and the words came. My stepdaughter and I talked for nearly an hour and slowly, slowly I came to understand what was bothering her and she came to understand my perspective as well. We both gained valuable insight into each other’s heart. It was a both a turning point in our relationship and in how I approach hard conversations. 

The next day, I received a gorgeous bouquet of orange tulips. 

God can help us leave our “simple ways” behind and move towards “walking in the way of insight”. Can you think of an area in your life where you would be willing to ask God for his wisdom and gain insight?