Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work, so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything (James 1:1-4).

Please take a moment to read this week’s entire passage! NIV

Please take a moment to read this week’s entire passage! MSG

As a mom, any challenges or trials my two children faced weaseled themselves into my thinking and my behavior until their trials became my trials. My sensitivity to their pain and stress has not changed through the 30+ years of their lives. I confess that often I have tried to fix the problem for them, call a teacher (don’t judge me!), or at least smooth the way with financial help. My Umbrella of Help, though, is not the Biblical way. In fact, it may have shielded both children from what God was trying to shower them with.

In my more spiritual moments, I have prioritized prayer and taken my kids’ challenges to God, to plead for His intervention, specifically to remove the trial. My pattern of requesting God to withdraw the trial - while it sounds reasonable and definitely a Mom Thing -  is also rooted in the wrong motivation. James 1 tells us these trials are for our good. (ASIDE: my children are believers.) They strengthen our faith if we allow them to. They showcase God’s presence during the trial. They increase our knowledge that God is with us. They allow us to impact others as we come through this trial in His power. So, while I have (sometimes) prioritized prayer, which is good, I have asked God for the wrong outcome. 

So what’s a mom to do? 

Sympathize? Of course. Pray? Absolutely. Interfere? Try not to (this is so hard). I must heed James’ prescription: “consider it pure joy whenever you [or your children] face trials” (1:2). As they face trials, I face them, too, like it or not. Removing that trial from them sounds like the best thing a mom could do, but that’s just not true. If I don’t exercise my muscles, they grow flabby, and my whole body will suffer. If my children have their trials removed, they don’t ever get to exercise their faith in and through the challenges that inevitably come. Rather than growing, their faith will weaken because it’s not tested. They won’t learn to integrate God into their responses to trials or into their perspectives on why they’re suffering. And neither they nor I will have the joy that comes from knowing that, through the trial, our faith will grow, our closeness to God will strengthen, and others may benefit from our journey through the fire.

Consider how you have reacted to trials, your own or your children’s. Honestly, “with joy” has rarely been my go-to; has it been yours? If not, what is one way you can begin to think of your trials as joy-producing?