“You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.” James 3:18 (MSG)

(This week’s devotionals, originally published in January 2021, aligned with the sermon series “Disagree Deeply, Love Deeper Still: True Unity.” The writing team prays they will be an encouragement to you.)

It’s hard work to learn to tame the tongue, and in turn treat others with respect. It’s something we’ve spoken with our children about at length, and a frequent saying at our house is, “If you can’t be kind, be quiet.” We knew the kids were beginning to internalize what we’d been trying to teach them when a few years ago, brother was overheard saying to brother, “You know what? Just because something comes into your head doesn’t mean it has to go out of your mouth!”

What a timely reminder for all of us!

I chose The Message’s translation of James 3:18 specifically for the use of the phrase “hard work.” Just as siblings and nuclear families put in the work of getting along, Christians are called to put in the hard work of getting along, too.

What does that look like?

It looks like disengaging from social media to have face-to-face conversations with friends who may or may not agree with us. It looks like civil conversations that come from a place of love and truly wanting to understand another perspective rather than changing their opinion to match ours. It looks like disagreeing but still treating each other with dignity and respect. And it looks like asking for forgiveness when our words have damaged a relationship. This kind of dialogue is hard work!

Siblings can grow up in the same house with the same parents but grow and develop into completely different adults. God the Father created us all so wonderfully unique. Of course, He knew we’d never agree on everything 100% of the time, but we can disagree and still get along.

The world is watching how Christians handle our national unrest. Are our words life-giving? Are we operating from a place of humility, understanding, and wisdom? Do our words promote peace, or are they contributing to further the divide amongst those who don’t share our political leanings? It’s straight up work to love our neighbors--including the ones sitting across the aisle from us at church--but hard work pays off. 

God, help me be mindful of my words today. Help me to use my words to lift up rather than tear down, show me a specific way I can better a broken relationship, and give me the courage to take the first step to repair it. Amen.