In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life…Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast (I Samuel 1:10-11, 18b).

We all have, deep inside our hearts, an empty vessel, created to hold our spiritual longings, longings that ultimately cannot be satisfied with anything but our Creator. This creates a hunger within us and a deep longing for fulfillment in Him. I believe God put that hunger within us to lead us to Him.  However, it's common to reach for other things instead (like food, careers, our relationships, or TV) to try to fill the hunger inside of us. However, those lesser things leave us feeling weak, and anxious, or might even tempt us to engage in risky behaviors to satisfy this need. 

Hannah’s inability to bear a child caused her to feel oppressed in spirit. Samuel chapter I says that she prayed with such fervency, begging God for a child, that she appeared to be drunk with wine. I think many of us have experienced this feeling at some point in our lives- that thing that seemed so important- so crucial- that we felt we couldn’t live without it. I think sometimes it is that desperation -that unfulfilled hunger-in our lives that drives us to God.

I can relate to Hannah. It was only 6 years ago that I found myself pleading with God to answer my prayer. God had blessed me for a long time with something good, but he had taken it away. I was praying that he would return it to me because I thought that was what I needed. Looking back, I might have even been using that thing to try to fill my own empty spiritual vessel. It had become my identity. During that time, I spent more time than ever reading the Bible, praying, fasting, journaling, and seeking God. I was hungry for God to answer my prayer, but instead, God wanted to have a conversation with me.

He asked me, am I enough for you? Do you believe that I am good, loving, faithful, and all-knowing? Do you believe that I alone can fill and restore your spirit? Will you follow Me, even if I say no to your request?

In Hannah’s case, God did give her what she asked for, and Hannah responded in praise. In my case, God said no, but I still responded in praise because I knew God was good. And through that experience, he helped me to recognize that He is enough. I won’t pretend that I don’t still desire that which I prayed for. I do. I had to grieve the loss of it. However, my hunger for God grew during our many conversations. He did restore my spirit and led me down a different path where I could also find joy.

Lord, please gently remind me to come to you to fill the God-shaped vessel that you put in my heart. I know that you are the only one who can satisfy the spiritual hunger that I have. You are the only one that can fulfill my deepest longing. Please help me to surrender the things that I hold onto so tightly and instead hold tightly to you.