Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, but Paul did not think it wise to take him because he had deserted them in Pamphylia … They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company.  Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, but Paul … went through Syria and Cilicia (Acts 15:36-41).

Have you ever experienced a “clean break?” Clean breaks can take the form of a broken bone or a broken relationship. In both cases the break is painful, but the resulting fracture is the first step in an optimal healing process. Splintered bones don’t heal as quickly or as well as bones that have been cleanly broken, and shattered relationships are harder to heal, too. Conflict is inevitable, so how do we avoid the shattering of relationships when we disagree?

Last week our passage showed the process the early church went through to reconcile two groups on opposing sides of an issue within the congregation. In our scriptures this week conflict is met head on, and the solution in both cases (at least temporarily), is for the parties in question to part ways. 

Have you ever been part of a confrontation where one party decided to go their own way? Clean breaks aren’t always necessary, but sometimes it’s a means to an end...and in the case of the Gospel the end goal is always reconciliation. Walking away for a time provides breathing room to sort out one’s thoughts and feelings. A clean break allows all involved space to understand the perspectives of the other side, it allows one or both parties to correct behavior that isn’t square with God, and it allows time to put things right in hearts and minds before coming together in community again. Sometimes a clean break is necessary for complete healing.

Too many times our first reaction to conflict is to trash the entire situation. “So-and-so doesn’t agree with me on this? I’ll show them! BURN.IT.DOWN.” Have you noticed this more and more on social media this year? A couple of weeks ago we talked about the tongue and its ability to set things on fire, and the internet has made it easier for us to light fires to our relationships without face-to-face conversations.

There is room for conflict and disagreement within the body, but there is always a bias toward reconciliation in the Gospel. Paul and Barnabas didn’t light their entire relationship on fire and in turn burn every bridge between them; they recognized an area of contention and chose to salvage their relationship utilizing a clean break. They remained unified in their work to further the Gospel even though they weren’t physically together.

Wisdom is seeing an area of conflict and discerning which is the most appropriate action: should I stay or should I go? (There’s a song here...bonus points for naming it! :) 

Take a moment and think about a relationship that needs mending. Has the relationship shattered or experienced a clean break? Ask God to show you a specific way you can take a step toward reconciliation today.