“Lord, if you had been here…” (John 11:21)

Ever been quick to question (even blame) God when He doesn’t act the way you wish and on the timetable you would choose? Even Biblical heroes did so; read King David’s psalms, Jeremiah’s laments, even Mary and Martha’s confronting Jesus in frustration that their brother has died: “if You had been here, [Lazarus] would not have died” (vs.21, 32). It seems we’re all crying out, Why aren’t You doing something? But Jesus is doing something; He’s always acting; there’s always more happening than we can see. 

How can we shift from wanting our expectations fulfilled now to patiently waiting? It can be difficult to view delays as part of a loving, divine plan. Lazarus’ impending death was no surprise to Jesus. Martha’s and Mary’s anguish won’t catch Him off guard. Yet still Jesus delayed His arrival, and the result? A far greater blessing: resurrection, not just healing. Could we try to shift our perhaps short-sighted expectations to a further horizon?

We may also need to shift from thinking that since God isn’t meeting my expectations, He’s absent or He doesn’t care. When Martha essentially blames Jesus for Lazarus’ death, rather than saying, just wait two minutes and see what I’m going to do, Jesus engages with her. He comforts and offers her hope with the truth that He is “the resurrection and the life” (v.25). He does care about her questions. But Jesus isn’t a one-size-fits-all Word of comfort. Notice the shift with Mary. Jesus meets her much more emotional need by weeping with her, by entering her sorrow. When our expectations are postponed and dreams shattered, Jesus grieves with us, too. We may not have our hopes fulfilled that instant, as Martha and Mary did, but we can know Jesus is not absent: He cares. He comforts. And He is continuing to work, for us, on us, and in us.  

What if we realize blame (Why aren’t You acting?) could be part of engaging more with Jesus? Like Martha, what if we shift from being stuck in criticism mode to allowing Jesus to speak into our questioning? What if we need to shift from Here’s what I want to staying in conversation with Jesus about our dissatisfaction? That just might shift us into satisfaction with His answer, His timing. What if we need to let Jesus call us forth from the death grip our unanswered prayer has on us? 

None of this will be easy. The grip of unanswered expectations is strong. It may be a long process, but as we start casting off the grave clothes of dissatisfaction and anger, we can turn toward a Savior Who knows how we feel and Who hurts with us. As we shift from thinking we know what Jesus should do, we can learn to trust Him to know how best to fulfill, or maybe even delay, our expectations.