Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers.
- Luke 6:44

If you go looking for figs in your thornbushes, you’ll be sorely disappointed. The happy farmer or gardener accepts the plant for what it is.

In almost every marriage, a vision has to die in order for the marriage to be healthy. We go into our marriages with a picture of what we want them to be or what we thought they could be, but reality is almost always different from our expectations.

People surprise us. They change and grow, but not always in the ways we expect. Even if you perfectly knew the person your married, they’d find some way to surprise or disappoint you over the years.

A significant part of the journey of marriage involves learning to love the person you’re actually married to, not the person they could be or the person they used to be. And this principle extends beyond marriage too. Learning to love the real people in front of us is at the center of our life in Christ.

If you go harvesting expecting grapes and only get figs you’re likely to feel disappointed. And that disappointment over the grapes will keep you from enjoying the figs.

Take some time today to name the expectations you have of your relationships that aren’t being met. Ask the Lord to help you to see the good things you’ve been missing in the person / relationship with which you’ve been frustrated.