Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
- Colossians 3:12

Paul lists five virtues in today’s passage: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Yesterday we talked about how our spouses (and our friends and our children) are not God. God is God. And this is good news.

In Christ, we don’t have to break our necks trying to produce compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Paul calls us to be who we are in Christ. We come to the conversation about virtue from a position of strength, not a position of need.

Our close and committed relationships always challenge us in the area of virtue. It’s one thing to show humility to a stranger but much harder to show it toward a spouse.

C’mon, who is it easier to be impatient with than the person you’re married to. You can go down this list and see how the context of marriage (or any committed relationship) makes it difficult to show these virtues Paul wrote about.

But it’s in these close and committed relationships where these virtues are most needed. Compassion helps us make it through the seasons of “in sickness and … for poorer.” Kindness makes it pleasant to go home. Humility gives your spouse room to grow. Gentleness transforms conflict. And patience … well … can you imagine being married to someone with no patience?

Where these virtues are most needed is also the place where they’re most difficult to display. This is important to see that our particular virtues flow out of who we are in Christ: “chosen … holy … loved.”

When you find yourself in a position today where you need to display one of these virtues, try this exercise:

• Take a deep breath
• Touch your thumb to your pinkie finger and pray “You chose me”
• Touch your thumb to your ring finger and pray “You called me ‘holy’”
• Touch your thumb to your middle finger and pray “You dearly love me”
• Touch your thumb to your index finger and pray “Help me show __________ (pick a virtue) to ____________ (pick a person).”
• Then watch what God does.