“We [have] become the children of God… [we] are all one in Jesus Christ.” (John 1:12, Gal. 3:28)

What are the hallmarks of your family? An intimate, laughing tangle of cousins, parents, and grandparents protecting, supporting, and comforting each other, worshipping together, and offering hospitality to others? A distant father, quarrelsome siblings, an atmosphere of criticism, disapproval, and competitiveness, with the rare appearance at church? A mixture maybe? Families can be wonderful and loving, but realistically, sometimes they are hurtful, even abusive.

What defines a “family”? I don’t think Sister Sledge had bloodlines in mind. “Family” develops when we bond with others over shared interests and common goals. Family ties aren’t just blood ties, thankfully, since some need to escape those ties and discover a better, truer family.

It’s a blessing when physical and spiritual families align, but that’s not reality for many of us. So when Jesus shakes up our definition of family, we eagerly lean in: tell me more. “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers... [they are] whoever does the will of my Father in heaven” (Matt. 12:48,50). Our most important family connection now is spiritual, not physical: “To all who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:12). We find our Christian family at the Cross. 

What distinguishes this Family of God? Jesus told us. To His family of disciples, He commanded: “love one another as I have loved you,” even if it means sacrificing your life in service for another (John 15:12-13). One of Jesus’ last acts, from the very Cross, was to take care of his mother. New Testament believers took care of the poor, the orphans, the widows. A spiritual family loves, serves, and welcomes others irrespective of race, gender, social status, professional achievement - “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal. 3:28). 

Church families aren’t perfect - families just aren’t. Christian families have their neurotic sisters and crazy uncles, too. But we can showcase healthy family dynamics because we have the Spirit’s guidance in dealing with inevitable differences in opinions, personalities, and priorities. Our connections outweigh our differences, and it shows: “all the people around us, they say, can they be that close?” * 

Yes, we can, because we have each other; we see each other; we love each other. We are family.

I’m confident you have felt that tug of shared belief upon just meeting someone; thank God for those spiritual connections that sometimes feel stronger than any bloodline. These make up the family some of us have longed for all our lives.

*“We Are Family,” Sister Sledge